revival

let me first start by saying, the reason ure here is that u care abt yirong meaning still giving a damn about this group.

as u read please rmb that im not trying to make a joke or pull a prank. this is serious. as serious and important as life itself.

Yirong, our friend, committed suicide. (yes, confirmed. in chinese papers, 26dec08)

if u see the date there, u'll see how long we've been oblivious.
the last ive seen of her, was 12dec08. milton chewy yirong and i were at seoul garden. and no one else.
she called me earlier in the day and asked if we're hanging out. dinner was the plan but she knew she had to wait long before chewy comes. she waited close to an hour with an empty stomach. milt and i insisted she eat something first but she wanted to wait for chew instead. such a friend.

she told me most days she's just staying at home. no one calls her out enough i guess. and i wont wanna discuss here, why she did what she did.

what i do wanna discuss here is, revival.

i know this whole post should be about yirong, so abt yirong it will be.
but to be precise, abt what yirong's action and what ive been going through that has triggered me. and it concerns all of us.. what im trying to do only now, is something ive been yearning to do but much selfish and petty reasons and other everyday things got me turn the other way.

see how i wrote abt being oblivious, only the few of us hanging and not being called enough?
easy to relate right? sadly true.

i feel great resposibility to our current hoods situation. because i am the source for this dispersion. because i simply could not feel the same when i see the changes around me, changes in the people i care about. i feel like a failure when i see my friends drink and smoke away their problems when supposedly there are friends to share problems with. i feel alienated when they do something which i cant help or do anything about. i feel powerless when i see my friends do stuff which they have sworn not to do and this is cause i wasnt there enough for them to keep to their word, all thanks to my temper, impatience and stubborness.

we have all grown up to be our own person, with different ideals and conducts. but there has to be a good balance of understanding in the group. my extreme idea of being a friend has made me unbearable and narrow minded.
we are nearing our adulthood very soon, but we shouldnt end our days of youth just yet.

i need all of u back to prove im right.

i can write more abt why we shld bring back old days, but i'll be running in a treadmill, not progressin and moving forward.
so as god would arrange it, our leopard is having his birthday chalet this saturday.(ask leopard for details, i lost the address)
i think the least we should do is meet up this saturday night
(only at night because leonard's aunties grandma and other families will be there in the day), and talk abt yirong since syuaib is gonna be telling abt her. he's been keeping in contact with her. she's one of us, we shouldnt make her incident something of a bypass.

lessons learnt and days burnt.
if we're all there this saturday, we're takin a step together, forward on the same road again. re recording good times.this will sound pointy but i'll be honest, please dont drink n smoke in front of me. tts all i ask. i totally admit i still cannot fully conceive that fact and be fully comfortable, and if i see i will shoot u all, with irritating quit now, and tts about it. i will throw away my stupid black face and such. and move on.

if any of these matters to u still, i'll be seeing u this saturday. im puttin work and other stuff at hold for this saturday. doing the same will be ur hoods revival in the works.